Leaving home? Moving abroad alone? Leaving your friends and family? Coffee with a stranger? Starting a new job outside of your comfort zone? A new business? Getting with someone totally different? Investing in a new project? Deciding to have a baby when not ready? Having 5 career changes? Jumping into a new hobby? Going on a retreat with strangers? Done, done and done.

If I hadn’t listened to my guts, none of these things would have happened to my life.

I would be stuck in my (somewhat nice and cosy) hometown, seeing the same people and doing the same things over and over again. Which works for some people, no judgement. Just not me.

That’s not how I was raised.

I’ve been taught to be adventurous in life, get on it, go out and explore, take every opportunity coming my way. I’m so grateful for my parents and my education in that way.

They always showed me that risk-taking can be very rewarding. It can sometimes lead to failure, but never to nothingness.

Either you grow or you learn something new, in every new adventure.

I’ve never been fearful or careful for that reason. Yes sometimes I crashed straight into the wall…. and hurt myself.

But never have I regretted doing any of these things as my life has been so enriched by each and every one of them.

My eternal enthusiasm and love of life has paid off, always.

I often wonder what would have happened to me if…. So many ‘ifs’ I can’t even count them.

Every time, the chance was there, but also very thinly close to not happening. I just chose to see it and take it on, fully.

I’ve always needed a new challenge in life and not taking myself too seriously has been the key to succeeding in taking them.

I am always asking myself this question: do you do this out of LOVE or FEAR?

The answer comes very clearly to me every time. I live by that and never have regretted it.

It has allowed me to meet so many amazing people along the way, to discover such incredible things, cultures, ways of thinking.

And the best part? It’s endless.

It doesn’t stop with age… I m always amazed to think ‘wow there are even more incredible people in this world I haven’t met yet’.

It’s exciting and fulfilling.

IT’S LIFE IN ITS ESSENCE.

How much space do you need to make when a new project comes to life?

Or do you think you can handle managing the same mental load whilst introducing this new thing into your brain?

I thought I could and was determined I would. WRONG.

Juggling many things at once is a very feminine skill, and sometimes we tend to overdo it until we burn ourselves.

It’s a dangerous road to take.

I recently experienced this, setting up a brand new business while running my ‘usual’ life as if my head could take it. Then I went into a breakdown.

It was very quick but intense. A trip to Morocco helped me find my way again but I really needed to pause for a second.

I was having so many superficial distractions or relationships, taking so much of my headspace that I just couldn’t focus on the real thing.

Aside from kids & family life that never stops, so it’s crucial sometimes to just stop and analyse what are or what should be your true priorities in order to not divert yourself from YOUR TRUTH.

This is where meditation comes in handy for me, it’s a really great way to think things through and realise - well, actually THIS doesn’t serve me anymore.

So why continue? My amazing breath work teacher and therapist asked me the other day:

Do you do things out of LOVE or FEAR?

I love this and have been using it since then.

Example: do you go to this event to please people so that they won’t dislike you in the future or are you actually interested in the theme / people?

It works with anything and everything!

Keeping your head clear a couple of hours a day is essential; it makes you more creative, more free, more focused on what matters.

If you fill your day with pointless activities and coffees with people you know but don’t necessarily connect with, you can easily use yourself… from your REAL TRUTH.

Yes, it’s nice to have ‘that’ network, especially in my line of work, but I have to really assess the quality of my time vs the value that it brings me.

I’ve been a lot more focused, efficient and creative.

And guess what? I don’t miss the stuff I left behind for a second…

MAKE SPACE. CHOOSE WISELY.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and she was saying ‘how can you let your child leave so soon?’

My son decided to go back to the UK for his last 2 years of high-school for a better education and to play more football, and as proud as I am, it breaks my heart.

But what am I supposed to do? Prevent him from following his dreams?

We have to let them go, breathe, get a sense of freedom, be independent but sometimes it does happen sooner than expected.

Being Expats, in a country where the lifestyle is amazing but the job marketplace not so much, we know they will study abroad.

Normally at 18… mine is leaving at 16, in just a few months.

Past the shock of it, I can see that my teens are becoming very independent and I have to accept it.

They are growing into confident, good human beings, and I am so happy about this.

Apart from being an uber-driver and a feeder, they don’t need me much right now. They turn to their friends for advice, gossips and issues.

Normal process…. not easy for parents.

The main thing in these situations is to find your own life again. Start as early as possible (way before they leave!) to slowly build back a life without kids.

Do your thing, make great friends, take care of yourself in a physical and spiritual way, and CREATE.

Create your own life, environment, career, hobbies, passion, lifestyle.

I’m really glad I started my own business last year, as it keeps me focused and busy enough.

It’s something very close to my heart - connecting people together - and I love it.

I also do a lot of self-care: meditation, yoga, retreats, hiking, nature stuff.

This requires preparation and thinking and I can see a lot of mums whose life only evolves around children, which is amazing, yet dangerous.

They might get a real fallout when the kids leave home… for better lack of activity.

The emptiness, the quietness, the lack of routine can be tough. Facing your partner in a empty house from one day to the other.

BE PREPARED - DON’T WAIT FOR THE LAST MINUTE TO BUILD YOUR OWN LIFE AGAIN.

It’s a real transition and a tough one. Almost like grieving.

Often ungrateful, as you have given your whole 18 past years to these human beings. We don’t talk about it enough. We have to accept it and share the process with others.

WATCH THIS VIDEO ‘EMPTY NEST’ FOR MORE ADVICE.

A sister. A friend. A yoga teacher. A mum. A therapist. A beautician. A daughter. A new person, just met. A mentor. A colleague. A coach…

The list is endless but all of these different women are important in my life. Nourishing me, supporting me, taking care of me and inspiring me every single day.

I just got back from a 5-day retreat in my beloved Morocco with about 18 exceptional women: we experienced many different challenges and fun activities: trekking for hours on a difficult mountain, early yoga sessions, vegetarian food, funky bathrooms in the middle of nowhere, car sickness on very weird roads…

The one thing that stood out for me at all times: how women are incredibly caring with each other.

Not once was there judgment or badly intentional comments. Some of us knew each other, most didn’t.

Yet we all became friends, exchanging amazing stories and life challenges the whole week. Some had extraordinary lives, some very difficult ones. I got inspired by all these talented people, strong mothers, funny and incredible personalities, each and everyone with a particular life story.

You wake up in the morning and they tell you how pretty you look, how amazing your work project is, how incredible you are as a person.

It’s just life changing. It gives you such a confidence boost that you usually don’t get so much at home :)

To have all these precious women in my life feels so lucky, so needed, so powerful.

I am lucky enough to have such a supportive group of women friends here and, as an Expat, it’s even more precious.

I have found my people here: from the lady who does amazing facials, to my yoga teachers, breathwork guides, or just simply friends.

I see them every day, and enjoy their company so much.

We are all 40 and above, went through rough patches in life, and are now trying to find mindfulness on our way. To take care of ourselves, to find calm and serenity and to just be with each other in the kindest and most honest way possible.

Whether they are far away or right next door, we always find a way to care for each other, ask the right questions and go into these deep meaningful conversations about life. Or just sometime have fun. No jealousy, no judgment.

I feel so supported, inspired and loved after this week! It gives me power and energy like never before.

I love men in general but I have to admit, WOMEN WIN MY HEART. ALWAYS.

In my childhood, I’ve always heard the phrase: ‘arrête de faire les choses à moitié’.

Implying that I was not fully committed to the projects I took on or was ‘too lazy’ to continue. Not giving my 100% into everything I did.

Learning the guitar, the piano, ballet, hockey, pottery, hip-hop, volunteering, etc. My mum went mad trying to find me a passion that I never really found as a child / teenager.

Don’t you ever get that feeling of trying something new, outside of your comfort zone, to just abandon it after a few times and feeling guilty about it?

Like you haven’t given enough of yourself, trying? I thought so until recently. I had an experience trying a new thing that I soon realised I didn’t actually enjoyed. Rather than ‘forcing myself’, I dropped it after a few sessions only.

I felt bad for the people I did it with, but then I realised: I know myself. I trust my guts. If I don’t like it, it’s not for me. What is the point of continuing?

I am a curious, very curious being, so I LOVE experimenting and challenging myself. I see it as a good human trait, because I don’t get stuck in my ways.

But the price to pay is that sometimes, I go over my limits and my beliefs to then discover that it’s not for me. And I don’t waste time ruminating about it and hesitating. I’m quite black and white in my decisions. People find me abrupt, but life is too short. Sorry dudes.

I’ve tried, I gave my best, I felt uncomfortable, I moved on… such is life.

Better to know yourself greatly than to pretend being someone you are not.

So I don’t think of it as doing things halfway - but rather doing things MY way.

And for the things that really matter to me, I am fully committed and go to my max, so I know it’s not about being lazy or scared.

LIKE IT OR NOT! This is me.

I hate change.

My kids hate change.

Even my dog hates change…

It messes your mind, your planning, your routine, your head and gives massive anxiety.

Unless of course, it is a conscious decision such as moving countries. Something you can control and plan way ahead; then that’s exciting.

However, from the smallest changes: a hike not happening, people cancelling on you, a meeting not going as planned, a trip you have to reroute - to bigger ones: a change of job, a shift of family dynamic, a child leaving sooner than expected, someone close getting sick or any new challenges faced - it can really be traumatising and daunting.

So why do we hate change so much?

Scientifically, it’s explained as followed, and synonymous with DANGER:

‘We hate the perceived loss and uncertainty that come with change. Our brains are biologically and psychologically wired to prioritize safety and efficiency, making stability the "default" setting for survival.’ Your brain is designed to keep you safe, not necessarily happy.

Psychologically, it can be explained by the ‘loss aversion’: research suggests the pain of losing something is twice as powerful as the joy of gaining something of equal value. When change is proposed, we instinctively focus on what we might lose (status, comfort, or habits) rather than what we might gain.

It triggers anxiety and fear of the unknown. The unknown is also synonymous with a potentially fear of failing. And who likes failure?

It gets us into this a "fight, flight, or freeze" response that our brain seems unable to manage properly.

Yet, we should be ‘used’ to it since it happens pretty much every day. But we are always surprised and disappointed.

The human brain tends to focus on the negativity of events happening - what you loose vs what you gain - this is our first instinct reaction.

Working on this for yourself is fascinating, as the image above shows:

What if changes meant CHANCES?

A chance to reinvent yourself, to put a new light into perspective, to shift your - often bad or boring - old habits?

Let’s view these changes as new opportunities instead - and the challenges they bring.

Because how boring would we be without these unexpected turns of events?

We wouldn’t grow, we wouldn’t learn or become better people.

Even at 45, I learn every day that nothing goes according to plan, ever, and it scares me. So i’m trying to learn to see the positive in all of this: take a minute, acknowledging my discomfort, and pause. Then accepting it with grace and move on.

It also develops highly your creativity: ‘how will I find a new way of dealing with this situation?’ Get curious and find another way to get outside of your usual routine.

Recently I had a lot of these, some on a very personal level, challenging my self-esteem and confidence. Then I realised that it was a good thing for me.

I like that disruption, that adventure, that fear of the unknown, that extra challenge, It keeps me feeling very alive, like a shot of adrenaline.

And it try to understand how I react to these moments and work on them to face them in a calmer way. Not easy to be done.

The ultimate human being challenge.

So I always saw myself as an introvert since I wasn’t any of these things.

As an adult though, I discovered it’s something quite different.

Their definition is as follows:

Thus, I came to realise that, although I like to be alone sometimes, everything I do in life needs to be shared and approved by the people I love.

My thinking style is definitely talking it out with others to make things happen and improve.

I recently launched a Private Members’ Club and as i’m a ‘doer’, I just went ahead and started to organise things without thinking them through.

Then luckily I met 2 different groups of friends, and they helped me so much figuring out the style of my events, the locations and the membership model.

Thank god I asked them or it would have been a disaster. I tend to rush things without thinking much.

Even if sometimes it's only to validate my thoughts and I don’t make many changes, it just reassures me to share it with others.

Same when I see my friends for dinner: it recharges me immensely - sharing what you are going through, see that other people have similar or different issues and exchanging experiences is so rich and powerful.

People always say ‘don’t share too much until you are sure’. I do feel silly sometimes, sharing all my projects with the world, as usually only one out of ten happens :)

But I just can’t help it. This is how I function.

To grow and evolve for me has to go through sharing. And i’m eternally grateful to have such amazing people around me, every day.

Falling in love.

Falling out.

Falling short.

Falling apart.

Falling behind.

Falling into place.

Falling flat.

OR just falling, literally:)

That happened to me last week, as I was running with my dog. The sheer shock of it was way worse than the actual consequences, but it gave me a big scare.

I felt like I got hit by a truck. Luckily someone helped me, picked me up and brought me home. Friends then came by and helped me out a lot, with kind words or sweet attentions, which felt like a close metaphor to life.

Every time I ‘fell’, either from disappointment with a man, a job that went wrong, a friend that betrayed me, a family fall-out, a bad situation disrupting my plans, a sad news, etc… there was always someone there to pick me up and get me back on track.

At first you can feel lost, stupid, vulnerable, betrayed, sad, angry at yourself, and life feels unfair. But it’s important to remember that bad shit happens to ALL of us, event the best of the best, and we are only humans after all.

As I was discussing with a good friend of mine today, we have to remind ourselves every day that we are still lucky to be where we are, no matter what happens, and look at the horror the world out there is going through. Thinking about these people, close or far, having much bigger problems and still keeping a smile on their face.

Just to be reminded that is humbling, and sharing it with a friend immediately makes if lighter, less heavy on our shoulders.

Because human nature after all is not meant to deal with tough things alone - we are all in this together - and talking to friends & people should be an essential part of our balance and every day life. Don’t isolate yourself and deal with your pain without sharing it - says the extreme extrovert that I am - it’s not easy but I promise you that it’s 100 times better than keeping it inside.

And no matter what you do, people will always see your bruises. So why hide them?

As my friends keep complaining about the ‘cold and rainy Winter weather’ (in Portugal…), I am sitting here thinking: ‘I do love the cold, a little rain and cozy winter nights, actually.’

Surely, there is always some better place we could be: an island, a sunny country all year-long, a hot African country.

But let’s be honest, there is not one place that is perfect in the world.

Islands? Floodings, tsunamis.

Hot, sunny country? High risks of hurricanes, storms and monsoon. Not to mention all the insects and dangerous animals…

Each part of the world has its highs and lows.

What I look for in life though are stability and normality.

Stability is a place where I feel safe, where there is no huge immediate threat against us, in the middle of nature and quietness.

Normality is to have what i’ve always known: mild weather, and the 4 seasons, every year after year.

It reassures me and regulates the year with very specific events and ambiances.

Autumn is so beautiful; you can start dressing cozily with high boots and see the beauty of nature turning red and brown. It’s the end of a long holiday and the start of a new school year, new adventures and new routine.

Comes Winter, not the most pleasant one - yet I tend to find it the most comfortable with its super warm clothes, long nights reading by the fire, and the Christmas spirit throughout most of it.

Spring then is a new beginning of long nights and sunny months ahead.

Summer is the symbol of warm winds and holidays back to France with our families.

Each season is unique and special, bringing change and different vibes. I couldn’t live in a place that has the constant same weather all year-long. How do you breakout your year? What forces you to break your routine, change and adapt? Don’t you find the time longer with constant sun and heat?

We evolve through seasons, and they bring a new hope, a new beginning every single time.

TODAY I FEEL GRATEFUL FOR:

• MY BODY: I am able to be active every day, go for hikes, work out, do yoga and run. This sounds normal for most people, but having a few friends with injuries can really bring you and your moral down.

• MY HEALTH: Same here, very lucky to be healthy so far, and have a healthy family, including parents. We have to cherish this every day and stop thinking about the little things that bother us.

• MY FAMILY: I am so proud of my family currently: everyone is working really hard, very driven to reach their goals, and helping me out with the daily boring things to do… having two teenagers, I coulnd’t wish for more.

• MY DRIVE TO SET UP A NEW BUSINESS: I feel also very driven myself right now as I am launching this new business which is proving to be very successful; I am so happy that I created a space for people and answer their needs.

• MY ENERGY: I am not young but I am also not too old to be able to wake up in the morning and be full of energy. I am in a phase of life where I feel alive and happy and that gives me so much strength to accomplish everything I need to, with a smile on my face.

• MY FRIENDS: I have an amazing and very diverse group of friends here, and that’s not easy to find - trusting my other Expats friends on this. People around us are caring, loving and very mindful. I have different friends for different things, and there is always something going on, even in bad rainy days. A true community.

• MY DOG: It’s a detail but having this little ball of joy, always happy to see me, and keeping me company is so nice. She is fun and loving, and comes with me hiking, keeping me very active.

• MY FUTURE: I am very optimistic about what the future holds, and it feels like this year is going to be a good one, after a few difficult times.

• JUST LIFE: We are just so lucky to have the life we have, and made the right choices for it. With everything so terrible happening in the world right now, it’s important to not just take it for granted. This is a lucky life, let’s make the most of it!

The other day, I was cleaning up my office and found all of my old business cards… only to realise I’ve lived a 1,000 lives with many careers, with no logical path.

Throw a couple of babies and international moves in the middle, and you really feel like 150 years-old.

In a nutshell, MY JOBS, starting age 21 up to 45:

NY

• Intern in the Beauty industry for 1 year

LONDON

• Partnership Manager for a Financial online / newspaper for 10 years

• Retailer of a baby brand for 2 years

• Marketing Manager in the TV industry for 7 years

• Content Manager in the Social Media industry for 2 years

PORTUGAL

• Sustainability consultant for 1 year

• Event Manager - ongoing for 1 year…

What do these jobs have in common? Not much truthfully, except me.

They all represent a part of my personality, and show how I evolved and changed through the years.

I’ve always wanted to work in the beauty industry and I did manage to find a great internship in NY thanks to my little sister who had great connections at the Lycée Français there.

It was amazing and I thought I had made it into that world. But back to Europe was more difficult, as the big brands are really only looking at top universities to recruit.

I really wanted to leave France for an experience in London. This is how I found my longest job yet, in the financial industry, which didn’t appeal to me at the time. However, the company was a media and grew so fast that I had many different jobs there, working with the greatest people.

After a few babies, I wanted to change career and do something more creative and flexible as a free-lancer. Again, through my network, I met a great lady who was launching a baby product brand and decided to help her on the UK market. Knowing absolutely nothing about the Retail world, it was tough. I learned a lot during that time.

After a while, I wanted to go back to Marketing, and through another friend working in TV, he got me a job in a start-up that I also kept longer than I thought.

My last job in London was for Snapchat, which at the time was not expected, as I wasn’t looking for anything, but it just happened. It was my ‘best’ job in terms of learning and working with interesting people in a tech company where everything goes so fast, and bosses are very approachable. Refreshing.

I’ve always seen opportunities as a good sign and never passed on them as a result.

This is how I changed so many times, and I really needed each one at a different stage of my life.

Where i’m at now is where I needed to land: working for myself and having great flexibility, bringing entertainment to people while looking after my family.

I know my CV doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it does to me.

Follow your guts and don’t miss out on opportunities thrown at you.

The other day, I had an interesting conversation with my 13 year-old daughter:

ME: ‘I’m going out dancing on Saturday night in a Club with my girl friends’.

HER: ‘But mum, you are not allowed to do that, you are a mum!’

….

….

I was obviously shocked by her reaction, especially as she is a very progressive feminist girl, surrounded by a like-minded group of strong female friendships.

But that was her GUT reaction, as my daughter.

She sees me as a mother, with a very specific and limited role, as not to embarrass her, I guess.

Her main issue was that she thought men would flirt with me.

I explained to her that, actually, this time has long gone. Nowadays, with the strong female empowerment movement and in the age of the ‘metoo’ era, men don’t do that anymore.

But beyond this, she should also understand that I am still ME: a young(-ish) woman wanting to have fun with her friends and do what she likes. I’ve always loved dancing and don’t ever think for a second that I will get into trouble with guys because of it.

I am still my own person, with my own desires and habits.

However, I feel very often judged by society, family or other people.

Things you can and cannot do as a mum are very well defined in our world and still very archaic, despite the positive evolution of the women’ position in society.

I am also setting up my own Event Business, and want to reach out to single people which is a big market here.

Same reaction from same daughter: ‘but it’s weird you would organise parties for single people…’

She seems embarrassed to see her mum in ‘Business-woman mode’, and to think that I could talk to other people beyond married ones :)

Very interesting to see what image our own kids have of us, even when they are raised pretty liberally.

As soon as we try to go a little bit outside of the ‘mummy box’, we get pushed back.

And that’s not ok. I will continue to push back the other way and show her/them that YES, we can do it all and have multiple cords to our arch.

I am a mum, but I am also so much more than that, and I refuse to let it go.

I can be a fun cool mum, even if I embarrass my kids :) They will thank me one day!

When I moved to Cascais, Portugal, 5 years ago, I left the biggest part of me behind: my unconditional love for cities.

A city is the quintessential demonstration of humankind: every country has its own style, rules, ambiance, food scene, buildings & architecture, traditions and vibes. All depending on its culture.

NY, London, Paris, Rome, Madrid, Lisbon, Copenhagen, Rio, Tokyo, Singapore, Marrakech, Dubai, Sydney… think about each and every one of them. I bet you can easily name 10 differences, right here and there.

The time you go for lunch and dinner, the traditions and celebrations, the nightlife, the music and dances, the story of each building, what you eat, drink and visit.

I miss that energy; that vibrant and loud background noise: people chatting in the street, police or firemen sirens, cars honking, vendors yelling at the morning local market to sell their goods, street shows and concerts, the crowd, that particular smell and sweaty mood of the tube/subway, the rush, the adrenaline : ‘will I get there on time?’

Finally coming home to a quiet and safe place where the noise stops or at least becomes a very distant one.

When I visit a new city, i’m not very interested in viewing museums and big landmarks. Some, but very few.

The best way for me to discover a place is to just walk everywhere. Wander in the tiny little streets, find the cutest local stores, stop for a coffee on a terrace, speak to people, follow the locals.

Try to live as a real local of that particular city.

The messy streets, the smells, the laughs, the fights, the taxis going crazy, the people pushing you, the kids playing in the park and screaming, the crowd yelling at you to move out of the way…

I just love it. I feel alive, I feel happy and in the right place.

I’m so thankful to live in nature and away from all of that today. I needed a different lifestyle on the day to day basis.

But I will always need my ‘city fix’ every now and then…. I couldn’t live without it.

Our good friend is coming next week to visit us in Portugal, after moving to Sweden.

She organised a weekend away in Sevilla, and amongst different issues and schedules, i’m finding myself to be alone for the last night.

First reaction was ‘oh no!' followed by 2 seconds later ‘actually, it’s such a cool opportunity!’.

As mums, we are never alone. Not even to go to the bathroom 😅.

So imagining a night all to yourself, in a hotel, in a different country is actually dreamy.

No program, no cooking, no driving, no schedule… just me and myself to take care of.

What will I do? Probably wander around the beautiful streets of Sevilla, have a few tapas, sip on a cocktail and watch a movie. Enjoy my own time and freedom…

As a young adult in London, I hated being alone. I was always filling my time with random people and activities, just to be ‘in the zone’. I had so much FOMO, all the time. Spending a Sunday alone seemed depressing.

Nowadays, I enjoy so much being by myself, also probably because I like myself more these days.

Enjoying your own company, thinking, reflecting, pausing. Actually having time to miss your family…

Fellow mums, i’m sure you would agree: the greatest gift that can be given to you is time to yourself !

ENJOY IT.

Setting yourself some really high expectations that you follow for 2 weeks and then drop: tested over and over again.

New Year’s resolutions always look so appealing and motivating, like a ‘new year, new you’ kind of moto.

But let’s be honest, 99% of people just drop them very quickly as they usually are not realistic or impossible to follow regularly.

How about this year, we follow the flow, trust our guts and see what happens?

Of course there are things I want to accomplish and do for certain.

I want to develop my business, be more active, drink less. But rather than setting up these as goals and becoming obsessed with achieving them, i’m just going to try to be myself and see how it goes.

There are so many things happening that we can’t control and that usually disrupt our carefully-thought plans that it sometimes best to let it go, and let it flow.

It doesn’t mean that you have 0 motivation or willpower.

Instead, it means that you are trying to set things up differently, think from a new angle and see how it works.

For example, i’m going to change a bit my morning routine but not in a military type of way. I will do more physical activities and try to widen the spectrum of classes I do. If it doesn’t work out, that’s ok.

I am also looking at developing my Business from a different perspective: trying to partner with big established venues.

Mainly, I would like to think less about plans and targets and more about how I do things more smartly and efficiently.

And see how I feel every day, without forcing it too much. I might need to change the routine and adapt depending on what’s happening externally.

One thing I learned from last year(s) is that things rarely go according to plan, and I would never have thought i’d be where I am today.

So best to GO WITH THE FLOW.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

This is the title of a Christmas movie on Netflix… with the great Michelle Pfeiffer, playing a desperate mum, having very - though adult - ungrateful kids, and running around like a headless chicken to make sure she pleases everyone for Christmas. Everyone but herself.

Sounds like your every day life, doesn’t it?

As a great French mum-comedian is saying in her shows ‘you are not alone’.

The movie itself isn’t great, a little slow and lacking rhythm. However the topic is very relevant and feels particularly true around the holidays.

Privacy as mum: about as inexistent as a polite Parisian (I’m from the South 😊).

Putting yourself before others: never happens.

Saying no: very difficult.

Getting a thank you: rare as Gold.

Guilt: constant.

The problem is that you end up being frustrated and resentful against everybody. And you blow up… in the movie, she just leaves after a bad fight, and abandon the whole household just before Christmas. Unlikely in real life…

But point made. We’ve all felt that urge, that sudden freedom appeal, leaving everything behind us and taking a few days off, ALONE.

As the movie describe, the mum is ‘the glue that holds her chaotic, lovable family together.’

Everyone expects it, naturally, yet nobody realises the work and selfless life it requires.

And usually she is the first one being criticised when things don’t go their way.

Tough love honestly. I guess for us the best reward is to see how happy and confident our kids are, but it wouldn’t be bad to hear once in a while that it’s all thanks to us.

In order to not get to the point she gets to in the movie, better consciously make space and time for yourself, no matter what.

Like they say on the plane: ‘put your own mask before helping others’.

Girlie weekends away, a night alone in a hotel, a few hours here and there to meditate, hike or go swimming. Everyday, something just for yourself.

Anything that can help clear your head and make you calmer.

Happy mum, happy kids, healthy family.

Going to take a bath to celebrate myself!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

This Christmas time is the first one in a long time where we are not coming home.

Every year is a huge challenge to try and organise holidays with everyone and try to not miss anybody on the list.

It’s both enjoyable and stressful.

This year feels like the opposite, as we will have a very quiet and chill one, at home with only a few friends around.

After one crazy week in snowy NY, where the Christmas spirit is everywhere, and life is hectic and fun, we are back to sunny and warm Portugal for another two weeks of holidays.

The contrast between the two places couldn’t be greater. We had an amazing time there, catching up with good friends and some cousins, experiencing such different things. So much so that my son got sick on the last day… too much food and excitement :)

Now it’s back to nature, quiet life, sunny hikes by the beach and just us four for the big day.

What can be frustrating as an Expat is that it’s always all or nothing. It’s either a full week of the whole family, a lot of food and changing places constantly, or no family at all.

A ‘normal’ thing would be to have Christmas Day with your loved ones, and maybe Boxing Day, and that’s it. Then you can go home and chill.

But for us, between the cost of flying, renting a car and buying all the presents, you can’t just stay for three days. We do miss the brother-sister-cousin-family, crazy gathering vibes where everyone speaks louder than the other.

Moreover, we sometimes feel bad for our alone-parents, not to come home.

But this year is particular as our son has got big exams coming up, and he cannot fail them (as he wants to go to England next year). We have to stay here and support him the best we can.

Portugal also doesn’t have much of that ‘christmassy’ vibe, not that it’s not a big deal for them, but where we live feels more like a summer resort all year long.

So we adapt, we improvise, we change our habits, our routines.

As there are other families around, we will try to do some fun things with them: secret Santa lunches and dinners, beach walks, day trips to the countryside.

And explore our beautiful host country!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL, SEE YOU IN 2026

🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻

Christmas, June, September… there is always an infinite list of things falling on your lap.

However, it’s key to maintain a certain level of self-care and sanity in these crazy times. It’s good for you, and good for others too. Happy mum, happy family as they say.

The way i’ve been doing it is by creating a specific and unshakable routine that I have to stick to. Otherwise, everything goes out of the window quickly with more ‘urgent’ tasks to be achieved.

Wake up in the morning and meditate straight away, when the house is still quiet.

After dropping off the kids, this is my me time where I do some kind of sporty activity: hiit class, hiking or yoga. I sign up to classes, this way I know I can’t cancel.

Yes there are presents to be bought, and meals to be planned, but those can wait.

Set up a specific day in the week to do these, separately. And delegate. Not always easy but make yourself do it: your husband is traveling for work? Ask him to get stuff at the Duty free airport for your parents or nephews. Girlie night? Ask your kids (depending on age…) to create their own dinner! Make it fun and give them more responsibility. They usually love the freedom that comes with it.

Get your sister (not brother unfortunately 😅) to be in charge of the parents Xmas presents this year, and you just have to chip in.

There are thousands of ways to put yourself first, and weirdly the world is not going to collapse if you do this.

It is the way you manage others’ expectations that counts, not what you have to do.

On that note, i’m going to make 10 Xmas shoeboxes for unprivileged kids living around here :)

Here I am: sitting alone at home on a Sunday night, enjoying a (very) light G&T while the fireplace is getting warm, reflecting on this incredible week. We just returned from England where we visited 4 incredible boarding schools.

I am trying to make sense of all these future changes ahead of us. Him, freshly turned 16, wanting to leave home, to build al life of its own, living far away from us (2,450km to be precise).

While my first reaction has been ‘why would he want to leave this cozy home and easy life here in Portugal?’ I can now understand his urge and motivation.

At first, I thought ‘what have we done wrong?’ To then realise that, actually, we probably gave him enough confidence and strength for him to feel comfortable pursuing his dreams.

He’s always been drawn to go back to his birth country (cf little poem here below), feeling very British. I thought he meant for Uni or to work later in London, but no. He wants to go back right now. He’s not scared of leaving his friends, being away from us (though a little sad), or landing in a brand new place where he will know nobody in another country.

He understood alone that his current school and program is not for him, and options here are limited.

So I took him there, to see. I secretly thought ‘he will maybe hate it…’.

He loved it. Every part of it. Every school. However different they were. The facilites and surroundings are honestly breathtaking, even for state schools. There is a level of offers there, whether it’s sports, academics or arts that you can’t find anywhere else. The Boarding life is just very engrained in the British culture and the staff makes you see how ‘natural’ this whole process is. And they are extremely nurturing and welcoming.

Settled in the middle of literally nowhere, surrounded by nature, the schools look like little villages. There is everything you can imagine there: a gym, 100 of sports, a cozy living room, mentors, trainers, nutritionists… even a lake to kayak on.

I now understand that it will make him feel more confident having a full structure and strict routine to follow. He will follow the crowd, knowing where to go, how to study, when to do his sports, and prepare for Uni the best way possible.

He’s always been quite independent and in his own little world. But I find today how determined he is and it really blows my mind. Not once did he hesitate during the whole week of visits.

He had a few football trials and was a bit nervous before, but he did really well and was proud of his achievements. Now we have to see which ones he can get into, but if it happens, it’s going to be a tough few first months. His sister is also sad, and there I am thinking ‘I should have had more children!’ Our hearts will ache.

On the plus side, we will travel more to London, which we love. Yet I can’t even think of the emptiness it will leave in our household. He was meant to go at 18… stealing another 2 years from me. But when you see someone so determined and excited, especially a child of yours, there is nothing you can say no to.

So, there you are, my son, in a little poem:

My son, the British.

My son likes beans on toast

My son loves Arsenal and hates Chelsea

My son loves the cold

My son likes fish & chips and jelly

My son loves sarcasm and is bold

My son likes cider (like me)

My son doesn’t care much about French politics

My son never wears a jumper

My son loves a good jacket potato

My son never gets bored of Pubs and soccer

My son doesn’t like ‘bacalhau’

My son is embarrassed when we are rude or loud

My son would rather take the quiet road

My son loves Glastonbury and the Pixies

My son dreams of English Unis

My son is as British as I am French.

MY ROUTINE

I just got back from holiday, traveling. It was a breath of fresh air (in London so quite literally :) but i’m also so happy to be back. This is when you know you feel ‘home’: going back to your routine and finding peace again in your daily life. I am lucky to have a very flexible job where some weeks are busy but some are not. I try to be active every morning after school drop off: hit class, yoga, hike, or swim. It keeps me grounded, calm and gives me energy for the whole day. It structures it in a way that is reassuring and it’s also fun as I get to do these things with my friends, most of the time (or my dog!). I really feel like i’m well settled here and have no doubts about where I want to be for the next few years.

WHERE I LIVE

We are so lucky to live in such as stunning place where nature is everywhere… I can’t get enough. The immensity of beaches with a constant flow of waves, bringing this unique Atlantic smell… the endless dunes and the beautiful mountains of Sintra blending in with the sand… it really is special. Just to enjoy this environment on an every day basis makes a huge difference. Not to mention the very mild weather and sun most days. Life is safe and easy here, yet Lisbon is only a few minutes away, if we feel like getting more city vibes or culture. The best of both worlds.

MY FRIENDS

Over the years (5 now), we have managed to find incredibly kind and like-minded people here. We are lucky that it’s not such a typical Expat place where people come and go all the time. Yes we do have friends leaving from time to time and we really miss them (Patricia this is for you :) but overall, people come here for the quality of life and stability vs jobs & careers. Being an Expat brings you that specificity that you are all in this together, away from family, hence the solidarity and sense of community here is really strong and feels quickly like home.

MY FAMILY NEST

Feeling good in your own home, surrounded by your loved ones, and liking spending time there feels really lucky. We have space, calm and make the most of this cocoon. The kids themselves, although teenagers, love just being at home. Cozy, reassuring and restful. Life is easy here; everything is accessible financially as well as physically.

MY FREEDOM

I do feel really lucky to have the freedom of doing what I want. I don’t need to work full time, and I can choose my work schedule and contracts. I have a lot of time to myself, having bigger children and a traveling husband. I go out with my friends whenever I can, and don’t have that many obligations (except for the day to day usual stuff). I can pop into Lisbon any day of the week if I want to see a cool exhibition and visit a friend on the other side of the bridge. Back in London, it felt like we were stuck in a 9-6pm job, where every day felt the same: rushing to get to work after drop-off, then back home quickly to pick them up, after getting stuck in the overcrowded tube, with such an expensive life to cater for.

MY HEALTH

Touch wood, we are all healthy and have functional working bodies, allowing us to be active and take care of ourselves. Not the case of everybody, unfortunately, and we do have friends going through really tough times, health-wise. It seems that it just takes over your whole life and it must be really difficult to function normally, on a every day basis.

MY BUSINESS

I have a very flexible schedule, being able to choose the events I want to create and only work with people I like. It’s a very rewarding job, if you do it well, and the word of mouth in our community is amazing. I feel like developing it more, visiting new venues all the time, but also giving myself permission to go at my own pace and saying no if the project is too big or even too small. It’s something i’m naturally good at it also, so it doesn’t feel like a job.

FUTURE PLANS

Always having exciting plans ahead is what gets me going everyday! traveling to NY for Christmas, going to that fun party or cultural event, planning parties for my loved ones, and helping our son applying to UK boarding schools for next year (although that is quite daunting…). There is always something happening, and it just fills my days with things to smile about.

TIME

Having time is the most luxurious thing in the world. Something I never had before in my busy London career in the media industry. Working for myself and not having that financial pressure anymore allows me to enjoy every day with some quiet moments to reflect (like writing!), meditate or just be in the present moment.

This was a really great exercise to remind myself how lucky how I am, so thanking my friend CHELSEA for the prompt!